I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Let's get the cat blown out
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
