His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
