I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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