Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
