So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
