JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
