just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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