Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
