all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
We are all done wearing pants today
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
