too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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