; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
