I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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