Got a toothbrush?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
