You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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