is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
