My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
