Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Randomize
