the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
