I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
