Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
