are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
