Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I want to have your abortion
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
