feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
