whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
