I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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