Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
