question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
