That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
