you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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