well I can't set my house on fire every night
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
