with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize