we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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