I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Panties = found
Randomize
