That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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