check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
