Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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