I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
