I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize
