The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
