It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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