Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
