we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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