Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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