Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
How external is "for external use only"?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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