I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
