just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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