HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
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