I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
