Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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