And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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